"Life's a Bitch."

Thursday, October 25, 2007,

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hello dearest readers,
im hereby trying my best to always think positive
and never let my mindset turned into the badside ,
thinking that im a failure.
i have done the biggest mistake and
now i regret it very much, really.
i bet you guys wont be going true
the same way how me,yanie,
lydia,wana going thru right now.

i feel like dropping school,
i feel like dying at this moment
cause i find myself as a failure
and there is nothing else that
could help me improve anything cause
i felt that im hopeless,
thank you very much mr azhar,
mr randy tan for those few words
that really matters to me.

now then i realise that money isnt eveyrthing
and i have to face the harsh world bravely,
working at a very low standard place
like the current workplace i am working,
wont bring me any futher,
no future for me,
i cant even afford to feed my parents.
i cant even build my own family,
i cant even do anything with just a low rating pay.
i ahve to have it,
i have to strive for that cert for me
to be able to face the world out there.
because of all these while,
i have not been making use of precious time
and instead i make fun of it,
and now i have failed to proove to everypart of my family
that eventhough i was raised up with both
of a un-educated parents,i can still do it.

that AFFECTS everything i tell you.
i wont be able to work anylonger,
i have to focus on my studies.
that includes that i wont be able to spend time
with any of my ljs staffs,members,
no more of second family,
no more of laugthers and all.

and now i have to face eveything,
i have to let go of this two
important groups that meana lot to me.
i really felt dissapointed,
i cant even face myself.
i cant believe things ended up this bad.
i have to let go of everything.
ahhh,im being emotional.
of course i felt that way.

this is to show how much
dissapointment i felt against myself,you see.

so here you go a speech to my dearest second family :
to ma'am yati,rosnah
[gary,jasmine,allan,karen]
staffs of CT,OC,PS,OD,L8
FEP!

thank you for all the moments we shared,
i as the youngest in the fep members
would like to tell you guys that
i really appreciate having you guys around.
you guys are the best batch of friends that
i have known and i find it hard to let it go.
i know we could meet up or make a call
sometime but those feelings that i had before
would be different,i wont be able to take some fries,
do my sundaymorninghabits with udee,
staringcracking jokes with ma'am yati wan din ,
falling down with don, fighting with khairul
disturbing koh sing? ahah. singing along with shah,
hunkwathing with ida, jokingaroundwithhazim
who else? kept saying sorry to suzy,
have cat&dog fiite with bboy..
laughing out loud with mahadi,
attachment to other shops,making new friends,who else?
working with mimi,new staffs,
teaching new staffs,having meetings,
gathering,giving presents and all,
time flys very fast.
i can't stand this any longer,
everytime i sat down and think of the mistakes that ive done
that leads to this kind of things,
tears started rolling down my cheeks, grrrrrrrrrr.

life has to move on,now lets proceed to
this ever dearest classmate of mine.
thou we been thru thick and thins within a year,
i could feel the bond and the strong
freindship with each other,
this made me hard to go to other classes,
i am seriously going to miss every single
one of you guys , i wont be able to joke
around any longer no more dog fite with farhan,
no more narendran with ted,no more joking,
lmao with drling ira no more boxingbagyan,
nomoretrainingmypunchwithhaziq,
nomoreofhisfarts,nomoreoffightingforLOO,
nomoresumirahnomoreanymoreanylongeernever.
i cant stand it,toodles. goodbye.